Friday, July 18, 2008

John McCain Jokes...All in light humor

Okay...I am going to share some John McCain jokes. Most of the are not original but they are funny. I will give credit to their sources. Please no hate mail this time. This is all in good humor. Senator McCain even went on SNL and made fun of himself. With that said...enjoy!

"Barack Obama said today that he is going to fight for votes in all 50 states. Yeah. That's what he said. Meanwhile, John McCain said he's going to fight for votes in all 13 colonies." --Conan O'Brien

"This week, Barack Obama, true story, campaigned on an Indian reservation and the tribal chief adopted him. Yeah, the Indians actually prefer Obama to John McCain, because they still remember when McCain took their land." –Conan O'Brien

"Barack Obama's staff and John McCain's staff are busy now negotiating when the presidential debates will take place. That's good, yeah. Yeah, Obama wants them to be in September, and McCain wants them to be after his nap, but before 'Wheel of Fortune.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Did you hear about this? Two State Department employees were fired -- this is a bit of a scandal -- because they were looking at Barack Obama's passport file. Not only that, but the same person was also looking at John McCain's Civil War records." --David Letterman

"You know who I like is that John McCain. ...

He looks like the guy at the hardware store who makes the keys.

He looks like the guy who can't stop talking about how well his tomatoes are doing.

He looks like the guy who goes into town for turpentine.

He looks like the guy who always has wiry hair growing out of new places.

He looks like the guy who points out the spots they missed at the car wash."

--David Letterman

Trust me...there are plenty more

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Just assume the Mic is always on...

Since my last post, here are a few things that have happened...

- Approximately 9.6 million babies have been born in the world
- My mom has come to visit and has gotten home
- I have left Watco and taken a job at Martinous Produce Company
- I have had a week off to do nothing...but study
- I have taken one part of the CPA exam...exciting, I know
- I have chopped off my luscious wannabe fro
- The microphone (note to all public figures) and the camera are always on (Hello, YouTube).

So those are a few things still going on. Yes, I have started a new job as a Controller at a small produce company called Martinous Produce Company. I am very excited. I still have no life save for this week while I take a break from studying for the CPA exam.

So, I took the first exam on Monday and I walked out trying my hardest not to say any of the words going through my head, I couldn't help but feel relieved that one part is over (hopefully forever). I started to think about things I would rather do and the thought hit me...a list. Here are 10 things that are comparable to studying for and then taking the CPA exam...

1. The Chinese Water Torture
2. Water boarding as performed by the CIA
3. Getting a CAT scan again (this is a tough one but ultimately, I was eventually able to pee)
4. Being stuck in an elevator with Bill O'Reilly
5. Jail time
6. Have a conversation with Tom Cruise
7. Gouge my eyes out
8. Live without my iPhone for a month
9. Live in Canada
10. Watch a movie with Mark Walhberg as a main character

Anyway, so you understand the title of this post, Rev. Jesse Jackson thought he was off mic when he made some derogatory and offense comments about Presidential Candidate Barack Obama...he was wrong and has caught some flak for it. With the advent of YouTube, Facebook and the like, why can't people just assume they are being tapped at all times and get on with the program.