Some Days I wonder

These last few days/weeks/months/whatever have been...well, lets say the sunny days have been few and far between. Too many things going on personally and in the lives of people that I care about. I know I tend to mask things really well on the outside but the mind games, the mental struggles eventually get to me. If only life were like a game were you could call a timeout in the bad stretches so you can regroup and get back out there.

Somehow God prepares us though for the days ahead because before the tough times come, he know how tough it is going to be. That's why words that were prophesied four years ago can still be and are still relevant today. The truth is that no matter the situation on the ground, He still is speaking if I would only listen. It's like when Elijah was running from Jezebel and God's angel woke him up a couple of times to feed him to prepare him for the rough days ahead.

I wish my thoughts could come out in English, but often times and certainly more than not, I feel it but I can't speak it. I wrote this poem almost exactly two years ago...seems like something I just wrote...

Some days I wonder

Some days I wonder what
What’s the point?
What am I still doing here?
What am I living for?
What the heck is going on?

Some days I wonder why
Why is life so difficult?
Why should I care?
Why don’t I care?
Why I am still here?

Some days I wonder who
Who really cares?
Who do I really live for?
Who would notice?
Who needs help?

Some days I wonder how
How long I can go on
How much longer I have
How He did it
How it affects me

Everyday, He knows
He knows what
He knows why
He knows who
And He sure as heck knows how